www.roastytoasty.com

'twas on a glorious afternoon such as this that I found myself outside on my balcony basking in the glory of the previously mentioned afternoon. It had been storming like a mofo
but the sun had put a stop to that with some well placed
ultra violet menace and was now busy decimating the
puddles and putting things right. I took a moment to
appreciate the natural order of things. The birds were
singing, the trees were growing, and a little bee buzzed
into my reverie and landed upside down in a puddle.

Now, I like bees; I like their honey, their defiance of the laws
of aerodynamics and I admire their work ethic and strict dress code, but I am also wary of their dangerous bottoms.
At first I thought, "Best leave it alone; a greater man than I will
step in and save the day". But alas, no such greater man did.
If I got involved it might lash out like a woman scorned and
sting me on the finger (not so much like a woman scorned)
not realising my bee-friendly intentions. It was a quandary...
and althoughI have heard that fortune favours the brave,
I decided to look before I leapt and let sleeping dogs lie.
But then a fly flew down near the puddle and appeared to
be mocking the bee.

Now, I have no time for flies, especially for ones with low
morals and no sense of sportsmanship. On the whole, they
are icky and annoying and never get the hint that they are not welcome near me at any time. So I shooed the fly away toot
sweet and, buoyed by my victory over the fly, picked up a twig
and used it to help the bee free itself from it's potential watery grave. I placed it down near the puddle and then watched it as
it tried to regain a little of its fluffy dignity in the warm sunlight.

After a little while, it had dried off sufficiently to be able to walk again, if a little unsteadily, and it unsteadily walked right off the railing I had placed it on; falling to the floor of the balcony.
But its imminent painful landing was saved at the last minute
by a spiderweb. That was certainly a close call. Until a quick
witted spider shot out of its hiding place and began to wrap
the bee up in its spidery clingwrap to be eaten at its leisure.
This was a bit of a shock to me (probably more for the bee)
and I considered saving the bee yet again .

Now, I'm relatively indifferent to spiders; I approve of their fly
killing policy but am hesitant to support their bee killing policy;
and may well have tried to save the bee again, had it not been
for a certain movie called "Final Destination." I know how that
movie ends (probably much the same as the sequel) and I decided that if I did try to save it again, fate would have to take
what it was owed in other ways. If I saved it from the spider,
who knows what fate would throw at it? Maybe a light aircraft
would crash land on my balcony, burning that bee to kingdom come and possibly injuring me at the same time...

Now, I like bees... but not enough to meddle with forces outside
of my control. Maybe all those wildlife documentarians aren't
really just a bunch of dicks who get some kind of sick pleasure
out of filming zebras getting mutilated. Maybe they were once
just like me, and tried to save the zebras; only to have them savagely torn apart by giant spiders...

If there is one lesson to be learned from all this, then surely it is that you should feel free to be a hero if you have to, but know that fate is a fickle mistress who has been turning tricks for much longer than you or I have.

ps. It could also be that flies are jerks and zebras will do anything to get on the telly.

Yours sincerely,

Dave

ROASTYTOASTY IS MOSTLY TASTY

*But it does contain traces of gluten, peanuts and poison.
But don't worry, the gluten is gluten free and the poison comes with an antidote.
Watch out for the peanuts though... They are explosive (but fat free)
so you know, it's swings and roundabouts...

NEWS - 08/08

Hey gang, Just a quick note to say we've added a new section, you'll have already seen it up
the top but now you can rest assured that it is a Dave approved section so go on, click on the link. You have my blessing...

NEWS - 07/08

Oh No!! I didn't update any news this month! Lucky for me I've got 5 days to do it!
But what to tell you all? Well we're still keeping it real here at R O of Astytoasty. Tshirts are a dish best served very late... So you be ready for that... We've got some new links to keep you entertained also. Oh and if you really need to reach me, try ibarreldk@gmail.com until I get my bits in some kind of order...

NEWS - 06/08

As you may have heard, we just had our first birthday. That was lovely and we had some chocolate cake. But what did we learn in that time? Well, we discovered that Dave is the
slowest Tshirt designer ever. But since he can only improve on that, we should look forward
to Tshirts at some stage soon. What else? Dunno... I wasn't really paying much attention.
My how the time flies when you're having fun!

NEWS - 05/08

Well, we're still moving forward on the Tshirts - designs have been finalised, I'll give a big shout out to all via our facebook group when they are ready to go, so look out for that. You can find it and join via the fanstuff link on the top right of the page. Thanks to all for your continued support. I'd definitely have gotten bored of all this by now if it weren't for you guys popping by and saying hi! More news next month, so adios my little peppercorns!

NEWS - 03/08

So I'm finishing off some Tshirt designs this month so look to have some available soon. Maybe some giveaways? If I can think of some kind of competition we could do we'll do it. So far we've got the ibarreldk logo and the pacman one and a few others, but does anyone have something from the archives they'd really like to see on a shirt? Any ideas are welcome - send me an email with any ideas to - dave@roastytoasty.com - There will be more Wellington Dowd and Jeremy and Roastytoasty at some point, I just have a tiny attention sp

NEWS - 02/08

So what's new? Well, not a lot. By now you've probably met Wellington Dowd, man of the people, defender of the underdog and all round gentleman's gentleman. He is ushering in the latest series, so we'll see how he goes. Also, the website is still developing. There's a link to roastytoasty's facebook army now - to make up for our lack of forums (which is still being investigated). Merchandise still taking it's time, but we're working on that too...

NEWS - 01/08

Hey guys...Sorry about the lack of comics. The doctors said I did an injury to my funny bone... Lucky for me it’s not a terminal case. They prescribed me a large dose of fat kids falling over and I am pleased to say that I’m well on the way to recovery. So three cheers to roastytoasty and three heartfelt chuckles to those darling little tubbies with grazed knees...

As you can see, the website has been bammed up a notch - not just to sex things up for the new year, but also to accomodate some of the naysayers who have yet to fully grasp the concept of the intimidating world of "point and click" technology. So hopefully navigation will no longer be a problem...

You'll also notice that the site has an almost "unfinished" quality... Well that's cos I'm still working on it - the forum and store are still in progress and i don't have enough fan art to justify a fan art section but it fits so nicely there I'll leave it in until i get some more. Feel free to send me something at dave@roastytoasty.com to go with the four I already have!

Also, we have some new editions to the website - a new series section with some brand new characters and adventures - as I struggle with ideas for the others, it will give me a chance to keep producing something for you guys. You'll also notice there's a blog now which is full of random keystrokes struggling to find meaning in an increasingly confounding world...

Also, hope you all had a lovely Christmas and an even lovelier New Years!

Yours sincerely,

Dave